Dowry around the world - By Anurag Mishra

Dowry system is present in many countries including India. In some parts of the world, mainly Asia, North Africa and the Balkans, dowries are expected, and demanded as a condition of accepting a marriage proposal.

In some parts of the world, dowry-related disputes sometimes result in acts of violence against women, including murders and acid attacks. The practice of dowry is most common in cultures that are strongly matriarchal and that expect women to live with or near their husband's family. Dowry has a long history in Europe, South Asia, Africa and other parts of the world.

The dowry system did not start in ancient times as a custom in the marriage of the daughter. But in medieval times, due to the expectation and insistence of the groom's family, the bride's family was forced to give dowry. Today, almost in the whole country, the conversation about dowry has become direct and open.

We will have to give up the futile extravagance in marriages. Like, inviting a huge wedding procession (Barat) in a girl’s marriage, to give dowry – is a useless tradition. Because of the Dowry system, people have started considering a daughter to be a burden on the family, and have started killing her in the womb itself. This becomes a cause of heinous sin for the parents. A daughter is a figure of goddess. Our malpractices have made a daughter our enemy.

History of marriages in holy

scripture:

There is an evidence in Shri Devi Puran, Third Skand that in the beginning of this Brahmand, when Mother Shri Durga married the three gods (Shri Brahma, Shri Vishnu and Shri Shiv) off, at that time neither was there any (barati) wedding guest from the bridegroom’s side, nor any (bhaati) guest from the bride’s side. Neither was any provision of food, nor was any D.J. played, nor was any dance performed.

Shri Durga ji said to her eldest son, Shri Brahma that – O Brahma! I give you this girl named Savitri as your wife. Take her and start your family with her. Similarly, giving Lakshmi to her middle son Shri Vishnu, and Parvati to her youngest son Shri Shiv, Sri Durga said that – “These are your wives. Take them and start your family. The three of them took their respective wives to their respective loks (places). The rest of the world extended from them.

The aim of marriage is only to reproduce children. Then both husband and wife work hard to rear the children. They marry them off. Then those children start their families.

Today the followers of Saint Rampal ji, following the philosophy told by Saint ji, neither take nor give dowry in marriage. Marriage is done in a very simple way. Neither the DJ plays, nor the procession comes, in just 17 minutes the marriage is solemnized by speaking Guruvani in the presence of some people.

Must read life the changing book ‘Jeene ki Raah' (Way of Living) and listen discourses of Saint Rampal Ji on Shraddha channel at 2 pm daily.

Yes - Dowry does exist in many parts of the world even today. Santhakumar has given a good explanation in his comment.

But in India and a few other South Asian countries, the unique blend of Honor Culture + Patriarchy + Rapid Economic Growth + Weak Judicial System has caused Dowry to mutate into a deadly delta variant which is able to bypass the law and withstand Modernization, Literacy & Globalization.

It existed in many parts of the world. However

1. Industrialisation and modernisation led to its decline in the West
2. Top down approach to educate girls and provide them employment reduced it in erstwhile socialist countries.
3. The education and mobility of girls to take up industrial jobs in cities reduced it in East Asia.
4. However it persists in India since the country has not experienced none of the above processes of social change.

Is there anyone who encourages the dowry system?

1. People who want to show off their wealth by spending lavishly on their daughter's wedding, they want to click photographs of the car they gifted to the groom, they want to display the jewellery they gifted for people to see and appreciate them. (And then they disown their daughter from their belongings)
2. People who fear that their daughter doesn't become a life long liability and thus, want to get rid of her as soon as she attains adolescence. ‘What if she gets aged, no one will accept her.’
3. People who judge their own daughter, the one who is born out of their genes, by looks and believe she won't get a wonderful life partner; no good guy will accept her if they don't pay right.
4. People who want a groom who earns more than them, six figures salary, well-settled in business, government job, own house, sedan car, in fact, I know a person who made sure the groom for his daughter owns a mobile phone, but that was back in the late nineties.
5. People who first don't let their daughter become independent so that she could take care of herself in good and bad days, and then make sure she gets a good ‘Gharana' (household) to keep her happy and fulfilled.
6. The system of sending a girl to boys house, which makes the boy her guardian, I am a hypocrite in mentioning this because I am also a part of this system.

Everyone blames a boy’s family for dowry, but there is another side of the coin-

‘Why would you marry the pearl of your eye to someone who wants luxuries in exchange of keeping her?’

Spend on her education and skill development if you have funds, make her independent, let her earn and live on her own terms, let her find a compatible person and if she can't find one, search for a genuine like-minded suitable (not better than your daughter) guy for her and don't pay him dowry, if he asks, block him, although you can give him gifts as you would like to give to a new member of the family.